And on we go.

For the last month I have been sliding into a mental health crisis, and while Christmas isn’t a big deal in my house the last two days have been the worst for a while. I ate next to nothing besides Christmas/Boxing day lunch, fruit and a couple of walnuts either day. I’m not proud of this, it’s nothing to celebrate or cheer. No part of my eating disorder was pleased by how little I consumed. Instead, I feel trapped by the downward spiral my health has taken, I’m frustrated with myself for giving in to the thoughts of uncertainty surrounding food. I’m also angry for not being offered the support I clearly needed by those around me, who I wish had been brave enough to pick me up on things. Yes, I realise it is not the responsibility of others to keep me on any kind of track, but sometimes it’s what I need. What each one of us needs during struggles.

Things were better today. Food was more or less spot on and I’ve not let the last two days of pathetic eating destroy the shreds of determination that keep me going.

Not sure why I’ve written this to be honest. It’s not a happy or particularly hopeful post. If anyone stumbles across it, maybe just take comfort in the fact that you’re not struggling alone, and that no matter how shit things get, they can only get better. In theory. Just don’t Google ‘celebrity deaths 2016’…


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